IRT Magazine

Calling Jello Biafra verbose is like calling the Mississippi River a creek. When his recent spoken word tour hit the Knitting Factory Wednesday night, Jello spoke well over two hours and barely seemed to be getting warmed up. I swear he’d talk for five hours if you let him. For those of you who don’t have that kind of time to spare I have come up with a list of a few things I learned about Jello and the world (ok so I did know some of these things before the show, but Jello sure did make learning it again entertaining).

1. Jello hates junk mail
2. Jello hates Hillary Clinton as much as he does Dubya
3. He’s also not that big of a fan of Obama
4. America treats its veterans like refuse
5. Getting a tattoo on your neck may just be enough to keep you out of the military
6. Jello still hates East Bay Ray
7. The best way to win the drug war is to buy all the drugs and burn them
8. Civil rights, women’s rights etc were never given they were fought for
9. The anti-war movement is better organized today than it was during Viet Nam
10. The sanctions in Iraq in the nineties killed around 1,000,000 people
11. Munitions using depleted uranium should be considered dirty bombs
12. Halliburton has stolen hundreds of millions of dollars from US taxpayers
13. 9-11 conspiracies are bullshit
14. America is a lot more liberal than Republicans would have you believe
15. Jello wanted Green Party candidate Peter Camejo to win the California governor recall election.
16. There have been bill submitted to Congress that would make it illegal to sell albums with parental warning stickers
17. Luckily none of them have passed.
18. Tipper Gore still sucks no matter how much Al is doing to fight global warming
19. America will be a lot safer when we realize the rest of the world doesn’t have to struggle in poverty so we can have nice running shoes
20. Never trust a big corporation

- Brad Filicky

Last Modified : March 2nd, 2007
Filed under : THE RECORD BIN
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