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Scarlett Johansson Digs the IRT

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So I was heading back home to Long Island from New Jersey as I always do on the weekend last Sunday, and I was cutting across Canal to the Manhattan Bridge from the West Side Highway when I realized I hadn’t dropped any copies of the new issue off at the Knitting Factory.

It was a realitively slow night at the Knit that night, something about a reception party on the second level or what have you, so I got to talking with the kind doorfolk when one of them pointed out a rather heavily scarved lady walking her little pocket dog a few feet away.

“That’s Scarlett Johansson,” she confided. “She lives nearby here.”

Needless to say, I was stunned to be in such close proximity to what many would agree is prolly the hottest woman on the face of the earth at this very moment. And I’m talking Winona Ryder circa 1989 hot! What else could I do but bid my friends at the Knit adieu and slink over to the famed young actress of such films as Lost In Translation and my girlfriend and I’s current favorite Woody Allen flick Scoop to hand her a copy of our new issue.

“Would you like a copy of our magazine, Scarlett,” I croaked, an obvious bundle of nerves.

“We got something on Tom Waits in here,” I added, shamelessly, having prior knowledge of her recording of an album of Waits covers.

“Cool,” she cooed as she took the copy from my hand and smiled.

“Cute dog,” I retorted, to which the little pup answered in a gruf little yip.

“Scoop was a helluva movie,” I proclaimed before wishing her a good evening and scurrying off.

Who knows whether or not she brought it home and read it cover to cover. For all I know, she could’ve used the mag to pick up her dog’s shitpile from the curb. But hey, I can honestly say though that Scarlett Johansson thinks our magazine is cool.

And now, I can die a happy man.

-Ed

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